Feeling blah.

Pain is never permanent.

These past couple of days I have been feeling really down. Until this morning, I had know idea what was going on. I kept trying to figure out what was making me feel so defeated, depressed, and lonely. 

Now it all makes sense.

A year ago, I got into a relationship with a boy who I was madly in love with (let's just call him Bob). I know what you guys are thinking; you cannot be in love when you are only 15. But, I certainly was. I spent 2 years waiting for him to like me, and did everything I could to impress him. Even if that meant changing everything about myself. 

I broke up with my boyfriend at the time (let's call him Jake) at the end of the school year, when I found out my crush finally had feelings for me. It crushed Jake, but I could not pass up the opportunity to be in a relationship with the boy I had loved since the first day I laid my eyes on him. The day we got together was one of the happiest days of my entire life. I felt confident and happy. Knowing that I was his girlfriend gave me a sense of confidence that I had never felt before. Finally, I felt like I was worth something. I had a feeling that the summer ahead of me would be wonderful. 

I was very wrong.

As soon as school let out, I knew I had to do something special and memorable with Bob. After some intense begging, my Mom agreed to take us to the Renaissance Festival up in Nashville. There are many activities there, and lots of cute, small shops. However, the main attraction is the beautiful, white, fairy tale castle where Taylor Swift shot her video for 'Love Story' back in 2008. It was the most perfect and romantic setting for a first date. I just could not believe that I would be able to go there with him. Just him. I was also anticipating having my first kiss. The days leading up to this were pure agony.  I could not stand waiting another minute. 

At last, the day I had dreamed of for so long finally came. The night before I was not able to sleep a wink. How could I sleep when the best day of my life was only hours away? I quickly jumped out of bed, and began to get ready. I had to make myself look as beautiful as possible. I spent hours applying makeup and debating which color shorts to wear. After what seemed like an eternity, it was time to go pick him up. The whole way there, I had a permanent smile on my face. My hands would not  stop shaking, and my foot could not stop tapping. "Will I get my first kiss? How do you even do it? Will I suck at it? Will he think I look pretty?". My mind was racing.

As soon as we arrived to his neighborhood, I spotted him sitting on a bench in his yard waiting for me. I almost jumped out of the window. I was so happy to see him. When you have a boyfriend, just a week away from each other feels like a billion years. I ran out of the car to hug him, and we held each other's hands on our way to the car. Politely, he greeted my Mom. He wanted to please her, and he certainly did. Mom thought he was quite the gentleman, and immediately approved.

The whole way there we laughed and talked. It was so effortless and simple to have a conversation with him. Everything flowed so naturally. For a moment it became silent, and he looked me right in the eyes. It felt like they were piercing into my soul. He smiled, grabbed my hand, and told me how happy he was that we were together. I almost melted. 

When we arrived at the Festival, my Mother dropped the two of us off, and we giddily walked to the stand to pay for our wristbands.  We spent time playing games, and watching some entertaining plays. It was so much fun.  Out of nowhere, rain drops began to fall from the sky, so we rushed to the car. It was too late. The sprinkling quickly turned to an intense downpour. Laughing, we made our way to the exit, and were almost to the car.  He quickly put his arm around my waist, while both of us were laughing, and kissed me. Surprisingly, it was not as scary as I thought it would be. I guess when you love someone, it is easy.  Honestly, I felt like I was in a movie. At the moment, I did not care that my perfectly straightened hair was now a soaking wet, curly mess. So what if my foundation was being washed off? I was just too happy to think about any of those things. 

After searching through the parking lot to find my mom, she finally pulled up right behind us, and we jumped in. Both of us were soaking wet, and could not stop laughing. Because we were not able to stay at the Festival very long due to the weather, I was able to convince my Mom to take us to a fun putt putt/arcade place back home.  We were excited to have more time together before having to part ways again.

Thankfully, the weather back home was much nicer than it was in Nashville. The sun was shining, the temperature was comfortable, and the ground was dry. Perfect weather for being outside. First, we putt-putted, and failed miserably at it. The most enjoyable thing about this, was that at the end of every hole, we would kiss, each time a little bit longer than the last. I did not want this amazing experience to end. Time seemed to be flying by so quickly, and there was nothing I could do to slow it down.

By the time we finished, the sun was beginning to set.  The sky was breathtaking shades of orange, pink, yellow, and red. Since the place was going to close in about half an hour, we only had time to do one more thing. So, he convinced me to race him in Go-Karts, which was a lot of fun. Upon finishing that, both of us were very sad that our time together would come to an end soon. Before walking out the door, we held each other and had one last kiss. This was the best of all. I think I came close to crying because I was so unbelievably happy. It all just seemed too good to be true. At this moment I realized that if we ever split up, I would not be able to continue living. He was my everything. I wanted to stay this happy forever.

The day after, I already began planning our second date. We decided on going to Nashville Shores, which is a huge water park. Since Bob would be leaving to go to Florida for vacation, we had to wait a while to see each other and go on our second date.  Again, waiting for this special day to come killed me. I was simply not patient enough to wait an entire month for him. 

While he was on vacation, his behavior became very suspicious. He was not his usual romantic and loving self towards me, and I was so confused as to what was going on. I kept trying to figure out if I had said or done something wrong, but I could not think of a single thing. The days continued, and so did his moodiness. His text messages were blunt, and it took him hours sometimes to respond.  I knew something was up, but every time I asked I did not get an answer. So, I just figured he was busy and having fun. I tried to let it go. A few days later, an explanation for his sudden change in attitude was given.

It was 11:00 p.m., and I was still waiting for a response to the text message I had sent him hours earlier. I decided to check Facebook to see if he had posted anything recently. That was when I noticed the notification next to my inbox. It was from Bob, and it said the four words I was dreading to read. "We need to talk,".

My heart stopped. It felt like my lungs had stopped functioning, and I could not even breathe. The anxiety I had waiting for him to tell me what was going on was overwhelming. Finally, the long message sent, so I tried to take a deep breath and read it.

He told me he cheated on me, apologized many times, told me that he was being stupid and that it would never happen again. I could not stop crying. The tears just would not stop. I knew that this was all too good to be true. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve such pain? 

`

I was in so much of a shock, that I was not even able to reply back to him. My emotions were out of control and I could not even think straight. I pressed the tiny X on the corner of the screen and shut off my iPod. I just wanted to die. I could not believe, nor understand why he would do this to me. 

The next day I called him, and was screaming some not-so-nice things at him. He kept apologizing, and begged me to take him back. Sadly, it did not take him long to convince me to take him back. Stupid me accepted him once again, only setting myself up for heartbreak. The whole thing blew over quickly, and we still planned on going to the water park together the following week.  

Picking him up to go to Nashville Shores was far more awkward than our first date. We barely talked the whole way, and it seemed like it took a millennium to actually get there. The uncomfortableness began to fade away once we arrived, and we had a good time going on the thrilling rides. For the most part, it was fun, but what he did was still the elephant in the room. 

Hours later, my Mom forced us to leave, because it was getting late, and Bob had to return home and go to Church with his family. We were both exhausted and drained from the action packed afternoon, and cuddled together under a big, warm towel. His arms were wrapped around me, and my head was resting on his shoulder. For some reason, I had the dreadful feeling that this would be the last time we would see each other for a long time. Dropping Bob off was very painful, and it killed me to let him go.

As I had predicted, an official breakup was in the near future. 

Once again, Bob began ignoring me, and eventually stopped talking to me all together. I had no idea why, but this time I just decided to accept it. I did not make an effort to contact him. Day after day passed, and I did not hear anything from him. I cried myself to sleep each other every night because I knew that it was going to be over very soon. I was not good enough for him. Clearly, I was not the girl he wanted. I hated myself, and constantly put myself down. Each day I simply went through the motions. I felt no emotions; I was completely numb. 

I was so unhappy, that I turned to Anorexia. I finally discovered a coping skill that actually worked and made me feel better about myself. It was a way of punishing myself, and I clung to it. It seemed like it was the only thing I had left that gave me happiness.

Like I expected, I received the "break up" text from him one night. I saw it coming, and spent the entire night crying and listening to all of our favorite songs. I cannot even explain the deep sadness I felt.  I blamed myself for setting myself up for disaster, and falling for all of his tricks. I was blinded by love and finally realized it at that time. I wanted to just crawl  in a hole and hide.  If only I had listened to my friends when they told me to stay away from him, I would not be in such excruciating pain. It was all my fault.

That was the summer my eating disorder got serious. I began severely restricting my intake, and running miles every day. I did not realize what I was getting myself in to. I believe that because of this destructive relationship, I became anorexic. It was a poor coping mechanism that I am now paying for. In no way did my eating disorder make me a stronger of more confident person. On the contrary, I isolated myself from my friends, obsessed with nutrition and calories. I was too tired and weak to do anything but sit on the couch watching the Food Network, drooling over foods I would never allow myself to eat.  My confidence was practically non-existent. I hated myself, and life. 

Looking back on all the pain I went through, I realize that I will never make the mistake to change myself for one person ever again. I need to surround myself with people that build me up and make me stronger. I should not have to change my whole identity just for someone to like me. If anything, this whole experience has taught me a very valuable lesson.

I do not need a boy to make me happy. I should not have to try so hard to impress everyone so they will like me. It is not worth it to pretend you are someone you aren't. I am finally learning to let go of the memories, and accept that it was not meant to be. If it was, I should not have felt like I needed to change  the person I am for him to like me. A guy should love you for YOU. 

I'll admit it, I miss looking into his blue eyes, and feeling his arms wrapped around me. I miss what it felt like to when his lips touched my lips, and the way his hands fit perfectly with mine. However, I now realize more than ever that he was  a mistake, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea. There is a man out there waiting for me, and I know that I will find true love someday. I just need to be patient and not rush through life too fast. There is plenty of time to fall in love, but right now I am going to enjoy being young, single, and free. Even though it seems like every teenager has a significant other and are in love, I am enjoying just having fun and flirting with whomever I please. And that's what I should be doing.

I am strong and nothing can bring me down at this point. I love myself enough to not put myself through that kind of pain again. This breakup did not destroy me. Rather, it has made me the determined and self-assured person I am today. 

"Don't make someone your everything, because when they are gone you have nothing."

Fighting

Hello loves! Long time, no see.

     Wow, it has been close to a month since I blogged last! For some reason, I keep forgetting to take pictures of my meals, but today I finally remembered. 








     I went to the doctor the other week for the usual follow up visit. Prior to this, I had made an attempt at intuitive eating. After the life changing trip to TX, I thought that I was totally capable of stopping calorie counting altogether. So I tried, but continued to measure things like nut butters, cereal, milk, etc. One night I decided to add up my total calories for the day. Turns out I only consumed a very small amount, far from the amount I was supposed to be at. This triggered ED thoughts, and slowly but surely they began to creep back again. It told me, "Hey, now YOU are in control. Maybe if you keep this up, you will get your skinny and model-like body back. Don't you dare go any higher than this,".
     The days continued, and sadly, I listened to ED's lies. I was consuming a maintenance/weight loss amount of calories for a teen girl at my height. I did not feel hungry, so I thought that my body did not NEED any more food than I was giving it. I felt content. Not stuffed, not starving. Just right.  I did not realize that what I was doing was just feeding into my eating disorder. When you give it an inch, it takes a mile. 
     After a while, I noticed that my clothes were not fitting as snug. It was obvious to me that I was not gaining at all. My visit to see my doctor confirmed this. She told me that I had lost a few pounds, and asked me if I had been following my meal plan and resting. I came clean, and told her everything. It is imperative to be completely honest with your recovery team, otherwise you are just wasting your time, as well as your physician's.  With the guidance of Dr. Romano, and my nutritionist Jenell, a doable weight gain meal plan was constructed. They helped me get my motivation back and realize how important it is that I keep going. I am clearly not done with my recovery, and still have a lot more work to do.
     Once again, I am back to a reasonable amount of calories, and am working very hard to meet my goal each day, and am also pushing myself to challenge my irrational fears. I have to admit, these past 2 weeks have not been easy. There have been a lot of days where I have wanted to give up, and resented my own reflection. My eating disorder repeatedly tries to convince me that I am already fat enough, and am eating much more than most of my friends. It tries to tell me that no one will like me if I gain a lot of weight, and no boy will find me desirable. It tells me I have no self-control. It tells me that I am no good unless I am skinny. The funny thing is, each and every one of these things  I listed above are complete lies. 
      It is times like these where you have to step back and remind yourself of the facts.  Actually ED, I would not be going to see a whole team of doctors for weight gain if I was already too fat.  In addition, it may seem like I am eating more than my friends, because I tend to fill up on vegetables and low calorie foods, but I am most likely not. The more weight I gain, more boys will find me beautiful. Guys do not typically like bony, skeletal girls. However, they are attracted to girls that look healthy and that have the pretty curves that make us women so unique. I am meant to look like a young WOMAN, not a little boy. You may think that I have no self-control when I eat more calories that you think is acceptable, but I am in control. It is YOU who are in control of me when I listen to your voice and restrict my intake.
       My weight does not make me a better person, more successful, or more likable. If someone wants to be your friend only because you are skinny, than they are clearly not a true friend, and very superficial. My weight does not make me smarter or determine my future. The number that shows up on the scale when I stand on it is totally irrelevant to all of these things. I have many wonderful qualities that are far more important than how much I weigh. For example, I am proud of my talents in music, and literature. I believe that I am beautiful inside and out, and love that I have so much compassion and empathy towards others. I am skilled in sports such as volleyball, and not a bad horseback rider. There are so many things that make me who I am. That stupid number on the scale does not define me.
      I have obviously learned my lesson from this experience: I can not even think about intuitive eating until I reach a healthy weight, and maintain it. Intuitive eating is something that I can look forward to, and work towards each day. My body still does not know what it needs and how much it needs, still being at an unhealthy, low weight for me. I still have a way to go, and I am glad my doctor gave me a wake up call to realize this. 
   I have to keep fighting and ignoring those disordered thoughts every day. I will apply what I learn from my therapist's appointments, and turn the negative thoughts into the truth. I have to force myself to eat those foods that scare me to death, and meet my calorie goal even though it means that I will grow out of my size 2 jeans.  I have to push myself to SIT ON THE COUCH when ED tells me I should be outside exercising. I still have a long road ahead of me on my road to recovery, but day by day I am getting closer to being my old self again.  Even though I have slipped up a little bit, and probably will a few more times,  these struggles are what will make me stronger. It is important that I get back up on my feet, and learn from those mistakes. 




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Without further adieu, here are my meals for the day! I hope this can inspire some of you guys to meet your goal and see what a weight gain amount looks like. That is the whole reason of me doing this.

So, my beloved oatmeal exploded in the microwave this morning...Fail.

Big bowl of deliciousness. I had strawberries and cream oatmeal topped with lots of peanut butter, blueberries, and Frosted Flakes. I AM OFFICIALLY OBSESSED WITH OATMEAL.

Veggie Ham and Cheese with sauerkraut, mustard, and spinach, animal crackers, cheddar rice cakes, and a popsicle was my lunch!

While getting the groceries at Kroger, I decided to grab a bar to get some calories in. I chose a Pure Protein Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar. This was the first time trying it and....

LOVED IT. Very rich and decadent. Tasted like a Snickers bar!

Part 2 of my afternoon snack was a BUNCH of strawberries, Chobani (vanilla) yogurt, and a clementine.  

This was a pretty random dinner. I was going to try to challenge myself to eat one of my Mom's homemade meals, but  it turns how she prepared fish, which I obviously don't eat because of my vegetarianism. So, I had brown rice mixed with hummus, and grilled broccoli and carrots. One the side I had some Iced Lemon Cookies from Trader Joe's, and half a banana sprinkled with cinnamon.

I had an awesome dessert to get my calories up. I made a PB&J Smoothie which consisted  of mixed berries, peanut butter, a chocolate Boost, topped with a cherry and sprinkled with cocoa. 

That's all folks ;D I will try to post again sooner this time! Hope you all are doing well. <3

A memorable trip, indeed.

Wow. I have not posted in a REALLY long time. I sincerely apologize. There has been so much going on in the past couple weeks that I keep forgetting to update my blog! 


Last week (Friday-Monday), I went to Houston, Texas, to attend my cousin's wedding. I have been anticipating going on this trip for quite some time now, and I really enjoyed it there. Amazing memories were made that I will surely never forget. I absolutely love spending time with family, traveling, and trying out new foods! However, my ED was not so happy that I would not eat the same foods every day that I have at home.  Although I was very excited to be traveling to a foreign place, I was quite nervous at the same time. How would I deal with not counting calories as I usually do every day? What will I be able to eat? Will this trip make me gain weight?


Our flight to Houston was a long one, but certainly worth the wait. When we landed at the airport in Houston, the whole family was starving and ready to get something to eat. I found myself beginning to panic, and my thoughts were racing. But then, I reminded myself that I deserve to enjoy this trip, and I need to let go. I was not going to let my eating disorder ruin another event. So, I took control and promised myself that from that point on, I would allow myself to eat what NOELLE wants, not what may be the healthiest choice. This vacation was about having fun and celebrating, and I was going to participate for once. 


We all decided on eating at a small restaurant in the airport called 'Stadium Bar and Grill'. At first I was freaking out, wondering if there would be any choices that would accommodate my vegetarianism. Thankfully, I saw minestrone soup on the menu and decided to get it! I quickly devoured this with a huge apple and some Lance soda crackers. It was delicious! I was so happy, that I was almost moved to tears. It had been so long since I ate something with unknown calories. I did it! I won this time! My grandma commented on this feat, and told me she was happy to see me eat, since she never does. Making this huge step was all I needed to prove to myself that this would not be a stressful trip because of food. This challenge helped me to realize that I can do this. I can and will be free from disordered thoughts, whether ED liked it or not.


Later that night, I joyfully greeted my brother at the hotel we would be staying at. We decided to go to the Embassy Grille, which was in the hotel, accompanied by my Mother, Aunt, Sister-In-Law, and two beautiful nieces. We were all so excited and grateful to visit with each other after so long. The nice waitress brought us to a long table, and asked for our orders.


If it were me in this situation over a month ago, I would have probably passed out from sheer terror of the unknown calories. But, for some odd and wonderful reason, I was not scared in the slightest. I was excited to kick ED's ass and show it that I am the one in control of my life. I confidently told our server that I would like the Encore Salad, and a side of mashed potatoes. 


After a short time of waiting, she brought us some yummy looking appetizers, which consisted of chips and hummus, as well as Jalapeño poppers. I snacked on some of the chips and dip, but was fearful of the crispy, fried, poppers. My brother seemed to notice me staring at them, and insisted that I try one. I quietly said the usual "No, thanks," but he kept offering. Reluctantly and anxiously, I took one and quickly put it into my mouth before I could change my mind. "Wow," I thought, "That was not scary at all!".


Everyone finished their meals in a hurry, then out of the blue, the kind server brought my Sister-In-Law a large piece of chocolate cake because her birthday was the next day. We each grabbed a fork so we could share the ginormous slice. I suddenly got a rush of confidence, and was the first out of my family to dig in. I took several large bites, and felt so normal. I actually felt like me again. The old, carefree, Noelle.  My family seemed to have missed that side of me a tremendous amount. It was a great feeling seeing the smiles on their faces. I went to bed that night with a sense of accomplishment, and anticipation for the next day.

The following day was spent preparing for the rehearsal dinner that night at Baba Yega, a restaurant surrounded by nature, fountains, and exotic animals. I ordered the Veggie Loaf, and it was delectable. I loved each and every bite of it. 

For dessert, the guests were offered a selection of different flavored cakes. There was carrot cake, chocolate brownie, and key lime. And guess what? I tried a small slice of each. I did not realize how much I missed real cake! Once again, I felt totally fearless. 

I woke up very excited the next  morning, because it was the day I would finally be able to meet the beautiful Karina Pinzon! We had made plans to hang out at the hotel later that afternoon, and I was counting down the minutes. She is someone I have looked up to for so long, and admire. So many people just sit in one place in their recovery and don't make much of any effort to make a change, but she worked her ass off the whole way through. I applaud her for her strength and motivation. Her example has really helped push me into recovery, and for that, I could never thank her enough.  

As the day continued, we prepared for the wedding that night. Again, the whole day was spent doing makeup, hair, and trying on multiple outfits. Three girls in one small hotel room trying to get ready for a formal event is not something you want to experience. It was crazy, haha. While I waited for us to leave, I snacked on some candy and nuts. 


The ceremony was so beautiful. It was set in a beautiful chapel, located in the middle of a green forest. The large windows all over gave us a good view of the bright and colorful sunset. I was daydreaming about what my wedding would be like someday, as I watched my cousin say his vows.  


The reception  was probably the funnest part of the entire trip. I danced the night away, and was truly happy for the first time in a very long while. I cannot even describe how wonderful the feeling was to be totally carefree. I was overjoyed to be there in that moment, free of my eating disorder. On top of this, as cheesy as this sounds, I felt beautiful. For so long I hated  myself and appearance, and always wanted to disappear when I was in the presence of others.  I was always insecure and believed every lie my ED told me. I was completely lifeless, and the shy quiet girl hiding in the corner. That night I realized just how far I have come. I felt confident, pretty, happy, and was not even thinking about food. 8 months ago I would not believe I could do this. 

You can check out more pictures from the trip on my Facebook!: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1474782579

As you can see, this was a life changing trip  for me. I was not looking forward to flying back to boring TN, but was so grateful for all the wonderful things that had happened to me while I was in Texas. This was an event that I will always cherish. 

I have no life. xD

Ha, I got bored....

Loving life

I'm really sorry I haven't blogged in a while! Don't hate me, haha.

I have a good reason though!

This past week has been going really great for me. I've been kicking butt.

From the start of my eating disorder, I developed an extreme obsession with eating only "clean" and "healthy" foods every. My ED makes me feel like crap if I don't have a serving of vegetables at lunch and dinner. It hates when I don't have low-carb snacks. Now, I've honestly reached my breaking point. I'm so tired of this voice dictating what I should do, how I should do it, and what I'm doing wrong. This voice will not control me anymore. It's actually pretty exhausting to follow its' rules every day. So recently I've been trying my very best to do everything opposite of what ED tells me, and honestly, I've been quite successful.

My first big challenge was having candy for a snack. Yes, ED, SKITTLES for a snack. It sure didn't like that choice, but hey, they were calling my name sitting there on the counter! It's times like those where I feel like a carefree kid again. My Mom was super proud of me. 

In addition, I had some good 'ol hydrogenated oils (A.K.A. Goldfish). And guess what? I'm still alive! ED sure likes to make certain foods a lot scarier than they really are.

Last but not least, last night I reunited with an old favorite...a Banana Split Blizzard from Dairy Queen! When I asked my Mom if I could go get one, I can swear to you she almost fainted from happiness. It brings me so much happiness to see my parents so proud of me. Definitely worth it. And DELICIOUS! 

Lately, I've been really starting to feel like me again. I have energy, I have an actual social life, and I feel unstoppable at this point. I don't just sit around sulking eating boiled carrots and steamed broccoli while everyone else is having an actual meal. I'm living, and enjoying myself. No one can stop me now. Not even ED. I refuse to give up! This happiness and carefreeness that I'm slowly gaining is worth all the scary and hard days in recovery. I love my life right now, I truly do. I'm relieved to be returning to my old self again, because you know what? I like being me! 

Honestly, you guys are a huge part of why I want to get better so badly. You all inspire me so much, and are such beautiful people. I'm so glad to have made such great friends along this journey. I can truthfully say I am grateful for my eating disorder for this reason. I have met some people that have impacted my life, and for this I am eternally grateful. Don't give up you guys. Your lives and happiness are worth fighting for, really. 

Through Calorie Count, I became friends with a wonderful girl from Pakistan, whom I've been helping with in her recovery. She had been through a lot, and was desperate for help, but was unsure of where to start. Fortunately, she is heading on the right path now and says it was me that made her want to get better. I feel so honored to be a part of people's recovery. I want to take every girl/boy's pain away who is suffering from this. It breaks my heart.

Today wasn't the happiest of days. My Aunt and Uncle came over to bury their dog, Moose, that they have had for 12, wonderful years. He was suffering from Diabetes (type 2), Glaucoma, and bladder problems. Long story short, he was really suffering. To put him out of his misery, he was put to sleep at 8:30 a.m. this morning.  He was a great dog, and was loved so much.

Moose is the brown-haired one on the left, laying with my dog Angel. R.I.P. Moose, you will never be forgotten! <3


I'm sorry to say I haven't had much time to take much pictures of my meals, so I apologize for this lengthy and boring post. I'll try to do a formal post within the next week or so!

I did take just a few pictures though...

Amy's All-American Veggie Burger with Veggie Cheese, Ketchup, Mustard, on a WW Bun, Clementine, Annie's Bunny Friends, Broccoli, Tomatoes, and Carrots with Newman's Raspberry Vinaigrette 

My delicious broccoli crunch salad! Some broccoli, tomatoes, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, sunflower seeds, and LOTS of dressing. (;

My obsession with dairy has returned! It no longer grosses me out anymore (thank God!). Charlotte has me obsessed with these Chobani Greek Yogurts. This one and the pineapple are my favorites!



Have a good rest of the week, beautiful girls! Sending you my love. <3